Why Do Some Young "Adults" Believe That Society Owes Them A Living?
Posted: Thursday, September 08, 2011
by Judge Dred
A byline in The New York Times dated August 18, 2010 states, "Why are so many people in their 20's taking so long to grow up?" There is another question which must be asked, which is related to this topic - Why do some of these young "adults" believe that society owes them a living? After many observations on this subject, I am seeking answers. I realize that growing up in the 1960's and 1970's was less of a challenge than it is today.
Some of our young people of today don't seem to be cut from that same cloth. There are those who reach the magic age of 18 (or 21 in some of the states which have liberal domestic laws) and have no intention of leaving. They do not actively seek employment and wish to have their parents support them in their quest to become couch potatoes. These so called adults become upset when they are asked to perform a menial task, such as taking out the garbage.
There are also those who get married, have children, and return home with more mouths to feed than when they left. When asked to keep their children in line(i.e., not letting them scream at early hours in the morning, cleaning up after them, etc.) they have a negative response. Statements such as, "That's not the way that I wish to raise my children" or becoming defensive are what parents are greeted with.
There is this young segment of the population that simply will not make an attempt to become productive citizens. Furthermore, they wish to take advantage of the kindness extended to them due to the nature of the familial bond. Somewhere along the line there was a disconnect in the manner that life as to progress. I learned that one has to earn their keep, not have it handed to you or siphon from your parents or other family members.
Please, youth of America, wake up. In no way am I painting all 20 somethings with a broad brush. There are those who do tackle the world head on, and this I applaud. As for the rest of you, please remember this. No one owes you a living. Not your parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, etc. It's one thing to go out on your own, not do well, and come home for a little while, if allowed. Once you turn 21, all bets are off. It is not mandatory that you be allowed back into your childhood home. Do not mistake kindness as a contract to support you.
Get off of your behinds and take care of yourselves and your children. Take multiple jobs if necessary. It's not easy for you, nor is it for your parents. If you can't respect the rules of your parents' homes, it is time for you to leave. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars on the way out. If you know you are not capable of providing for your children, wait before having them. This is not Burger King, you can not have it your way in someone else's home. If you proclaim your status as an adult in defense of your laziness and lack of drive, do everyone a favor.
Get out of your parents or relatives homes. Now. It is time to come to the realization that no one owes you anything. Time to grow up, Junior. This adult thing ain't all it's cracked up to be, huh?
Until next time.
JD
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Maybe we are changing and its becoming evident in our children. Maybe they cannot stand the way we live to work instead of just living. Theres no freedom for the youth of today. In my younger years I stayed home and didnt work till I was eighteen giving me more freedom to be a kid. Our children are being forced into the system far too young and into the school at the tender ages of 3 when they are still babies. Maybe we should change the world so we dont have to suffer while living in it.
How we are living in an ant like colony way my article which reveals shocking similarities of how we are living like ants.
Yes, I agree that there is change in our children. The change is that instead acquiring a desire to become self sufficent, some of our children believe that they are entitled to live off of their parents. Unfortunately, our society is set up where, in most cases, one has to work to live (unless one is a member of the ultra wealthy class of people) I have no problem with people who want to just live, but they should not do it on their parents dime or time.
Going to school at the age of three is far different than being forced to work in factories at a young age under dangerous working conditions. There are child labor laws in the United States which do not allow childern to be forced into the system at an early age. Changing the world is an ambitious program, and I am all for it. That being said, there are many obstacles to overcome, and it will take more than one or two people to accomplish the mission.
My point is that if young adults want freedom, they should seek it. Just not while making their parents lives miserable. Thanks for reading and commenting.
JD
Appreciate your observations and commentary!Hi Marijo,
Thank you for reading and commenting.
JD
Judge,
That's a key question today. I often wonder what is the answer?? For those who need some spark to get moving, I wish they could read your article.
Thanks for sharing your insights. I enjoyed the article.
Dr.BHi Dr. B,
I also wonder what it will take to motivate some of our young people. Hopefully there is a solution out there. I would like to find it. Thanks for reading and commenting
JD
I do think young people have a longer maturation period than they once did and I also believe this is the result of our longer life spans. Once we died in our 20s so we had to grow up far earlier in order to survive and procreate, and life was literally one of survival depending on everyone in the tribe pulling their weight.
When I was growing up, (50-60s) this current attitude about children not growing up was applied to teenagers, which was a relatively new term anyway. Once, there had never been a group known as distinctly 'teenage'. Now, we apply it to the 20s. Well, I do think they are capable of leaving home by then, or if at home with their parents, paying their fair share and shouldering their fair share of responsibility. My question would be 'Why do parents allow their children to believe the world owes them a living?' The children get away with it because the parents are serving as doormats and enablers.Hi Hannah,
Personally speaking, my parents instilled a work ethic in me at an early age. I couldn't wait to get out and tackle the world. I do agree that there are cases where parents have bred this take and no give attitude. If a child is living at home and pulling their weight, along with respecting the rules of the home, all should be well. I can't understand why a parent would allow themselves to be used as doormat, nor can I fathom a child over the age of 21 who would want to take advantage of a parent. Could it be that I'm nuts? Thanks for reading and commenting.
JD
Hello Judge, This you wrote applies to not only in America but here in Asia. The culprit behind this scheme (I'm very sorry to say) is the parents themselves. At least, partly. They all thought it wrong with the upbringing thus created this bundle of couch potatoes. This generation is so different from the early batches (50s,60s & the 70s) They think the world and their parents owe them a life of comfort . What happens here ? Someone's son wants to get married so his parents start preparing from 0.= church arrangements, bridal attires, dinner and may be a house EXCEPT making baby which the son can handle himself.Hi Hilda,
There could be something that I'm not grasping. As a person who always wanted to do for myself, I simply don't understand the couch potato mentality. I never sought handouts, and learned what it was to struggle. This seems to be what some in this younger generation are lacking, a drive to succede. Success is so much sweeter when a person has tasted failure and/or day to day living. They see the success of their parents and think that this should be handed over to them.
It could be that some of our parents lived through depressions and world wars, and realized that there were people that would take more from them than food and money. I wish I had the answer. Thanks for reading and commenting.
JD
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